The Progressive鈥檚 Guide to Reacting to Offensive Comedy

Things have quieted down since the last string of shocking incidents, but we can鈥檛 afford to be complacent. Another one could happen by the time you read this, and you鈥檒l want to be ready.

Let me offer a few observations from decades of interviewing and studying comedians.

Bill Maher took his medicine. Kathy Griffin is lying low. And more online petitions are ready in case Stephen Colbert tries anything else. But before the next comedic assault on decency leaves us shaken and sputtering with outrage, let me offer a few observations from decades of interviewing and studying comedians from George Carlin to Lewis Black, and even former comedians such as Dennis Miller (ahem).

Let鈥檚 quit being snowflakes聽with my Progressive鈥檚 Guide to Responding to Offensive Comedy.

1. You don鈥檛 have to respond.

I鈥檝e always viewed taking offense at entertainment as the avocation of the dim-witted (of any political type) who are unaware that they can change the channel or stop reading. But that was before the Instant Internet Outrage Machine made us all feel like we鈥檙e white-knuckle-driving nitroglycerine trucks in William Friedkin鈥檚 Sorcerer movie.

Most people don鈥檛 call radio talk shows, write letters to the editor, or demand that comedians lose their careers for a crack that rubs them the wrong way or misfires. We have something better to do. What, exactly? Anything.

2. We should apologize less.

On the May 1 Late Show, Stephen Colbert said of President Trump, 鈥渢he only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin鈥檚 cock holster.鈥�

#FireColbert immediately trended on Twitter and petitions gathered the names of both right and left apoplectic at such filth aimed at the Russophile-in-Chief and who found the joke homophobic.

My take: the joke wasn鈥檛 anti-gay but mocked a pair of macho narcissists who鈥檇 rather be caught dead than queer. Not all jokes about touchy or marginalized subjects are phobic. Colbert hardly has a history of gay-bashing. And 鈥渃ock holster鈥� is hilarious. Attention T-shirt makers.

Conservatives almost never apologize for things they say.

Colbert鈥檚 response: 鈥淚 don鈥檛 regret that.鈥� The studio cheered. 鈥淗e, I believe, can take care of himself. I have jokes. He has the launch codes. So it鈥檚 a fair fight. So while I would do it again, I would change a few words that were cruder than they needed to be. I鈥檓 not going to repeat the phrase, but I just want to say for the record, life is short, and anyone who expresses their love for another person, in their own way, is to me an American hero. I think we can all agree on that. I hope even the president and I can agree on that. Nothing else, but that.鈥�

Nervy and perfect. Oh, and conservatives almost never apologize for things they say.

3. Don鈥檛 lose your head.

On May 30, a photograph of notoriously outrageous comic Kathy Griffin holding a fake, bloody Trump head caused Ikea to sell out of fainting couches. Conservatives lost their minds, progressives got squeamish, and Griffin lost her nerve鈥攁s well as work.

My take: the photo just seemed like a French Revolution gag. That had been in the air to the degree that even I tweeted 鈥淟et them eat Trump steaks!鈥� on March 20, with an article about Trump鈥檚 Mar-A-Lago trips costing more than Meals on Wheels.

Griffin鈥檚 response: a video apology as excruciating as her tearful press conference鈥�and they made no difference. Conservative mouth-breathers from cable news to Twitter were putting Griffin atop their scapegoat lists for the Virginia GOP shooting. Entertainment news bottom-feeders speculated about her long road to redemption.

There鈥檚 a long tradition of bloody satire, and it harms no one, as opposed to, say, taking away health care.

Did Griffin go too far? Not one swirled hair. There鈥檚 a long tradition of bloody satire, and it harms no one, as opposed to, say, taking away health care. Nor does it make anyone violent, because humans have free will and choose their actions, and if they don鈥檛, life has no meaning. Blaming comedy (or any entertainment) for real-life violence is the shameless tactic of political opportunists and talk show hosts looking for easy material. Politicians inciting violence is another thing. (See below.)

The Internet Outrage Machine is like a dog. You can鈥檛 show it fear. The one thing Griffin got right in her apology was that Trump and his people are bullies.

4. Take note of who鈥檚 leading the outrage before you follow.

Like all bullies, Trump鈥檚 too thin-skinned to take a fraction of what he dishes out. From mocking a disabled reporter to birtherism to encouraging violence at his rallies鈥攁nd plenty more鈥擳rump, his family and his supporters have permanently lost the right to claim they鈥檙e offended by anything, ever. Other than reported facts and science.

The people who not only failed to repudiate but embraced Ted Nugent and others, and who looked the other way or took part in eight years of abhorrent remarks about President Obama? Their umbrage is the real joke.

5. Avoid circular firing squads.

Conservatives get no greater pleasure than when progressives turn on each other. Unless it鈥檚 the pleasure of stepping on the poor.

Even better for them if it鈥檚 over inconsequential media dustups. Better still if those are distractions from Actual Issues, such as becoming the world鈥檚 outlier on fighting climate change. They鈥檙e longtime experts at getting people to vote against their own interests over cultural matters that don鈥檛 affect them. (See, for instance: gay.)

Right-wingers are known to have authoritarian personalities and fall into lockstep much more easily than progressives. We don鈥檛 have to be like them to avoid giving them the satisfaction of seeing us at each other鈥檚 throats.

6. Yes, each other鈥檚.

Comedians tend to be liberal, so cut some slack.

Although there are notable exceptions, such as the Jeff Foxworthy Axis of Trailers and Dennis Miller, who apparently snapped after 9/11 and took a hard鈥攁nd unfunny鈥攔ight turn. (Unless you find riffing on Nancy Pelosi鈥檚 face to be the stuff of the Algonquin Round Table.) One side punches up, and the other punches down.

Don鈥檛 believe me? Look up the short-lived and excruciating Fox News version of The Daily Show from 2007 called The 陆 Hour News Hour.

7. Comedians are in their own category.

Comedians get to say things that an Uber board member or Ann Coulter or a senator鈥攅ven the newly relaxed Al Franken鈥攄on鈥檛. They get to say things that would cost you your job. They鈥檙e not statesmen. When John McCain makes an awkward 鈥淏omb, bomb Iran鈥� crack, it鈥檚 unsettling. If a comedian does that, it鈥檚 likely satirical, as they don鈥檛 set foreign policy.

Comedians are our court jesters, and the better ones are also part philosophers. They speak uncomfortable truths, mock the powerful and provoke.

A careful comic is either an oxymoron or a bore.

Our taste, sensibilities, approval, and especially our boundaries, are irrelevant to comedy, if not its natural targets. As Carlin told me, 鈥淣othing鈥檚 off-limits if it鈥檚 properly couched and properly contextualized.鈥� He then proceeded to use a 鈥渂aby-rape鈥� example I won鈥檛 detail here.

A careful comic is either an oxymoron or a bore. It鈥檚 no accident that our news media has grown more useless in direct proportion to growing more careful, while late-night comics have become more and more reliable sources of truth, or even just saying the obvious when no one else will.

8. Focus on the big picture.

Now watch while I rise to Bill Maher鈥檚 defense for saying That One Word.

On his June 2 episode of HBO鈥檚 Real Time, Maher responded to Nebraska Sen. Ben Sasse鈥檚 invitation to come and do field work thusly: 鈥淲ork in the fields? Senator, I鈥檓 a house 苍颈驳驳别谤.鈥�

OK, no.

Does Maher deserve the benefit of the doubt? Am I even allowed to have an opinion on this subject? (Spoiler: I鈥檓 whiter than a mayonnaise sandwich.) Depends who聽you ask, and you could fill books with the answers.

My take: Maher seemed to be attempting a satirical, edgy ad lib on live TV about racism, that didn鈥檛 come close to meeting the above Carlin rule. And he reaped the fucking whirlwind.

Maher鈥檚 response: he apologized and then had Black guests Ice Cube, Symone Sanders and his friend Michael Eric Dyson on the next show for chastisement. If that鈥檚 the 2017 version of white people apologizing to Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson when they screw up, it was an odd mixture of sincerity and impatience from Maher. He pointed out that 鈥淐omedians are a special kind of monkey.鈥� Lousy word choice, valid point, still a shitty joke.

Big picture: Maher has been a gutsy liberal satirist and gadfly for decades, calling out conservatives and racists, week in and week out, before Stewart, Colbert, Noah, Oliver and Bee. He hasn鈥檛 behaved like a racist. In fact, he鈥檚 notably said that not all conservatives are racists, but if you鈥檙e a racist you鈥檙e probably a conservative.

9. There are no perfect progressives.

Not that Maher doesn鈥檛 have his flaws or rub some people the wrong way. In addition to the basic odds of a comedian self-destructing on live TV over time, his harping on Islam comes off as obsessive even when he鈥檚 making sound observations. (See also: Sam Harris.) But if progressives dogpile on flawed members of their own team, the herd鈥檚 going to thin fast.

We lose elections because we hold out for perfect liberal candidates. Anyone happy with the result of that? Expecting a comic not to transgress or bomb now and then makes even less sense.

Call them out when they鈥檙e in the wrong, move on when they acknowledge it, and reserve serious outrage for the people whose intentions are genuinely, dangerously offensive.

10. It always blows over fast.

Colbert鈥檚 ratings got better. Griffin was never on the radar of people pissed about her, and she鈥檚 dropped back off it. Maher鈥檚 show is back to normal.

And yet we keep taking the bait. It鈥檚 almost as if we鈥檙e the ones who don鈥檛 learn from their mistakes.

Well-meaning progressives can disagree about all of this. And debate. And troll each other. And unfriend each other. But we could do it with thicker skin.