For the spring 2019 student writing contest, we invited students to read the YES! article 鈥淭hree Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age鈥� by Nancy Hill. Like the听author, students interviewed someone significantly older than them about the three things that matter most in life. Students then wrote about what they learned, and about how their interviewees鈥� answers compare to their own top priorities.
The Winners
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From the hundreds of essays written, these eight were chosen as winners. Be sure to read the author鈥檚 response to the essay winners and the literary gems that caught our eye.听Plus, we share an essay from teacher Charles Sanderson, who also responded to the writing prompt.
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Middle School Winner: Rory Leyva
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High School Winner:听Praethong Klomsum
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University Winner:听Emily Greenbaum
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Powerful Voice Winner: Amanda Schwaben
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Powerful Voice Winner:听Antonia Mills
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Powerful Voice Winner:听 Isaac Ziemba
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Powerful Voice Winner: Lily Hersch
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鈥淭ell It Like It Is鈥� Interview Winner: Jonas Buckner
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From the Author: Response to Student Winners
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From A Teacher: Charles Sanderson
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From the Author: Response to Charles Sanderson
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Middle School Winner
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Rory Leyva
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Village Home Education Resource Center, Portland, Ore.
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The Lessons Of Mortality听
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鈥淎s I鈥檝e aged, things that are more personal to me have become somewhat less important. Perhaps I鈥檝e become less self-centered with the awareness of mortality, how short one person鈥檚 life is.鈥� This is how my 72-year-old grandma believes her values have changed over the course of her life. Even though I am only 12 years old, I know my life won鈥檛 last forever, and someday I, too, will reflect on my past decisions. We were all born to exist and eventually die, so we have evolved to value things in the context of mortality.
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One of the ways I feel most alive is when I play roller derby. I started playing for the Rose City Rollers Juniors two years ago, and this year, I made the Rosebud All-Stars travel team. Roller derby is a fast-paced, full-contact sport. The physicality and intense training make me feel in control of and present in my body.
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My roller derby team is like a second family to me. Adolescence is complicated. We understand each other in ways no one else can. I love my friends more than I love almost anything else. My family would have been higher on my list a few years ago, but as I鈥檝e aged it has been important to make my own social connections.
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Music led me to roller derby. 听I started out jam skating at the roller rink. Jam skating is all about feeling the music. It integrates gymnastics, breakdancing, figure skating, and modern dance with R & B and hip hop music. When I was younger, I once lay down in the DJ booth at the roller rink and was lulled to sleep by the drawl of wheels rolling in rhythm and people talking about the things they came there to escape. Sometimes, I go up on the roof of my house at night to listen to music and feel the wind rustle my hair. These unique sensations make me feel safe like nothing else ever has.
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My grandma tells me, 鈥淏eing close with family and friends is the most important thing because I haven鈥檛
always had that.鈥� When my grandma was two years old, her father died. Her mother became depressed and moved around a lot, which made it hard for my grandma to make friends. Once my grandma went to college, she made lots of friends. She met my grandfather, Joaquin Leyva when she was working as a park ranger and he was a surfer. They bought two acres of land on the edge of a redwood forest and had a son and a daughter. My grandma created a stable family that was missing throughout her early life.
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My grandma is motivated to maintain good health so she can be there for her family. I can relate because I have to be fit and strong for my team. Since she lost my grandfather to cancer, she realizes how lucky she is to have a functional body and no life-threatening illnesses. My grandma tries to eat well and exercise, but she still struggles with depression. Over time, she has learned that reaching out to others is essential to her emotional wellbeing.听听
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Caring for the earth is also a priority for my grandma I鈥檝e been lucky to learn from my grandma. She鈥檚 taught me how to hunt for fossils in the desert and find shells on the beach. Although my grandma grew up with no access to the wilderness, she admired the green open areas of urban cemeteries. In college, she studied geology and hiked in the High Sierras. For years, she鈥檚 been an advocate for conserving wildlife habitat and open spaces.
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Our priorities may seem different, but it all comes down to basic human needs. We all desire a purpose, strive to be happy, and need to be loved. Like Nancy Hill says in the YES! Magazine article 鈥淭hree Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,鈥� it can be hard to decipher what is important in life. I believe that the constant search for satisfaction and meaning is the only thing everyone has in common. We all want to know what matters, and we walk around this confusing world trying to find it. The lessons I鈥檝e learned from my grandma about forging connections, caring for my body, and getting out in the world inspire me to live my life听my way before it鈥檚 gone.
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Rory Leyva is a seventh-grader from Portland, Oregon. Rory听skates for the Rosebuds All-Stars roller derby team. She loves listening to music and hanging out with her friends.
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High School Winner
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Praethong Klomsum
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听Santa Monica High School, Santa Monica, Calif.
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Time Only Moves Forward
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Sandra Hernandez gazed at the tiny house while her mother鈥檚 gentle hands caressed her shoulders. It wasn鈥檛 much, especially for a family of five. This was 1960, she was 17, and her family had just moved to Culver City.
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Flash forward to 2019. Sandra sits in a rocking chair, knitting a blanket for her latest grandchild, in the same living room. Sandra remembers working hard to feed her eight children. She took many different jobs before settling behind the cash register at a Japanese restaurant called Magos. 鈥淚t was a struggle, and my husband Augustine, was planning to join the military at that time, too.鈥�
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In the YES! Magazine article 鈥淭hree Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,鈥� author Nancy Hill states that one of the most important things is 鈥�…connecting with others in general, but in particular with those who have lived long lives.鈥� Sandra feels similarly. It鈥檚 been hard for Sandra to keep in contact with her family, which leaves her downhearted some days. 鈥淚t鈥檚 important to maintain that connection you have with your family, not just next-door neighbors you talk to once a month.鈥�
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Despite her age, Sandra is a daring woman. Taking risks is important to her, and she鈥檒l try anything鈥攆rom skydiving to hiking. Sandra has some regrets from the past, but nowadays, she doesn鈥檛 wonder about the 鈥渨ould have, could have, should haves.鈥� She just goes for it with a smile.
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Sandra thought harder about her last important thing, the blue and green blanket now finished and covering
her lap. 鈥淚鈥檝e definitely lived a longer life than most, and maybe this is just wishful thinking, but I hope I can see the day my great-grandchildren are born.鈥� She鈥檚 laughing, but her eyes look beyond what鈥檚 in front of her. Maybe she is reminiscing about the day she held her son for the first time or thinking of her grandchildren becoming parents. I thank her for her time and she waves it off, offering me a styrofoam cup of lemonade before I head for the bus station.
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The bus is sparsely filled. A voice in my head reminds me to finish my 10-page history research paper before spring break. I take a window seat and pull out my phone and earbuds. My playlist is already on shuffle, and I push away thoughts of that dreaded paper. Music has been a constant in my life鈥攆rom singing my lungs out in kindergarten to Barbie鈥檚 鈥淚 Need To Know,鈥� to jamming out to Taylor Swift鈥檚 鈥淏lank Space鈥� in sixth grade, to BTS鈥檚 鈥淚ntro: Never Mind鈥� comforting me when I鈥檓 at my lowest. Music is my magic shop, a place where I can trade away my fears for calm.
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I鈥檝e always been afraid of doing something wrong鈥攏ot finishing my homework or getting a C when I can do better. When I was 8, I wanted to be like the big kids. As I got older, I realized that I had exchanged my childhood longing for the 48 pack of crayons for bigger problems, balancing grades, a social life, and mental stability鈥攁ll at once. I鈥檓 going to get older whether I like it or not, so there鈥檚 no point forcing myself to grow up faster. 听I鈥檓 learning to live in the moment.
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The bus is approaching my apartment, where I know my comfy bed and a home-cooked meal from my mom are waiting. My mom is hard-working, confident, and very stubborn. I admire her strength of character. She always keeps me in line, even through my rebellious phases.
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My best friend sends me a text鈥攁n update on how broken her laptop is. She is annoying. She says the stupidest things and loves to state the obvious. Despite this, she never fails to make me laugh until my cheeks feel numb. The rest of my friends are like that too鈥攍oud, talkative, and always brightening my day. Even friends I stopped talking to have a place in my heart. Recently, I鈥檝e tried to reconnect with some of them. This interview was possible because a close friend from sixth grade offered to introduce me to Sandra, her grandmother.听听
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I鈥檓 decades younger than Sandra, so my view of what鈥檚 important isn鈥檛 as broad as hers, but we share similar values, with friends and family at the top. I have a feeling that when Sandra was my age, she used to love music, too. Maybe in a few decades, when I鈥檓 sitting in my rocking chair, drawing in my sketchbook, I鈥檒l remember this article and think back fondly to the days when life was simple.
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Praethong Klomsum is a tenth-grader at Santa Monica High School in Santa Monica, California.听Praethong has a strange affinity for rhyme games and is involved in her school’s dance team. She enjoys drawing and writing, hoping to impact people willing to listen to her thoughts and ideas.
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University Winner
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Emily Greenbaum
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Kent State University, Kent, Ohio听
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The Life-Long War
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Every morning we open our eyes, ready for a new day. Some immediately turn to their phones and social media. Others work out or do yoga. For a certain person, a deep breath and the morning sun ground him. He hears the clink-clank of his wife cooking low sodium meat for breakfast鈥攄octor鈥檚 orders! He sees that the other side of the bed is already made, the dogs are no longer in the room, and his clothes are set out nicely on the loveseat.
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Today, though, this man wakes up to something different: faded cream walls and jello. This person, my hero, is Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James.
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I pulled up my chair close to Roger鈥檚 vinyl recliner so I could hear him above the noise of the beeping dialysis machine. I noticed Roger would occasionally glance at his wife Susan with sparkly eyes when he would recall memories of the war or their grandkids. He looked at Susan like she walked on water.
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Roger James served his country for thirty years. Now, he has enlisted in another type of war. He suffers from a rare blood cancer鈥攖he result of the wars he fought in. Roger has good and bad days. He says, 鈥淭he good outweighs the bad, so I have to be grateful for what I have on those good days.鈥�
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When Roger retired, he never thought the effects of the war would reach him. The once shallow wrinkles upon his face become deeper, as he tells me, 鈥淚t鈥檚 just cancer. Others are suffering from far worse. I know I鈥檒l make it.鈥�
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Like Nancy Hill did in her article 鈥淭hree Things that Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,鈥� I asked Roger, 鈥淲hat are the three most important things to you?鈥� James answered, 鈥淢y wife Susan, my grandkids, and church.鈥�
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Roger and Susan served together in the Vietnam war. She was a nurse who treated his cuts and scrapes one day. I asked Roger why he chose Susan. He said, 鈥淪usan told me to look at her while she cleaned me up. 鈥楾his may sting, but don鈥檛 be a baby.鈥� When I looked into her eyes, I felt like she was looking into my soul, and I didn鈥檛 want her to leave. She gave me this sense of home. Every day I wake up, she makes me feel the same way, and I fall in love with her all over again.鈥�
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Roger and Susan have two kids and four grandkids, with great-grandchildren on the way. He claims that his grandkids give him the youth that he feels slowly escaping from his body. This adoring grandfather is energized by coaching t-ball and playing evening card games with the grandkids.
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The last thing on his list was church. His oldest daughter married a pastor. Together they founded a church. Roger said that the connection between his faith and family is important to him because it gave him a reason to want to live again. I learned from Roger that when you鈥檙e across the ocean, you tend to lose sight of why you are fighting. When Roger returned, he didn鈥檛 have the will to live. Most days were a struggle, adapting back into a society that lacked empathy for the injuries, pain, and psychological trauma carried by returning soldiers. Church changed that for Roger and gave him a sense of purpose.
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When I began this project, my attitude was to just get the assignment done. I never thought I could view Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James as more than a role model, but he definitely changed my mind. It鈥檚 as if Roger magically lit a fire inside of me and showed me where one鈥檚 true passions should lie. I see our similarities and embrace our differences. We both value family and our own connections to home鈥攈is home being church and mine being where I can breathe the easiest.
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Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James has shown me how to appreciate what I have around me and that every once in a while, I should step back and stop to smell the roses. As we concluded the interview, amidst squeaky clogs and the stale smell of bleach and bedpans, I looked to Roger, his kind, tired eyes, and weathered skin, with a deeper sense of admiration, knowing that his values still run true, no matter what he faces.
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Emily Greenbaum is a senior at Kent State University, graduating with a major in Conflict Management and minor in Geography. Emily hopes to use her major to facilitate better conversations, while she works in the Washington, D.C. area.听
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Powerful Voice Winner
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Amanda Schwaben
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Kent State University, Kent, Ohio听
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Wise Words From Winnie the Pooh
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As I read through Nancy Hill鈥檚 article 鈥淭hree Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,鈥� I was comforted by the similar responses given by both children and older adults. The emphasis participants placed on family, social connections, and love was not only heartwarming but hopeful. While the messages in the article filled me with warmth, I felt a twinge of guilt building within me. As a twenty-one-year-old college student weeks from graduation, I honestly don鈥檛 think much about the most important things in life. But if I was asked, I would most likely say family, friendship, and love. As much as I hate to admit it, I often find myself obsessing over achieving a successful career and finding a way to 鈥渟ave the world.鈥�
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A few weeks ago, I was at my family home watching the new Winnie the Pooh movie Christopher Robin with my mom and younger sister. Well, I wasn鈥檛 really watching. I had my laptop in front of me, and I was aggressively typing up an assignment. Halfway through the movie, I realized I left my laptop charger in my car. I walked outside into the brisk March air. Instinctively, I looked up. The sky was perfectly clear, revealing a beautiful array of stars. When my twin sister and I were in high school, we would always take a moment to look up at the sparkling night sky before we came into the house after soccer practice.
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I think that was the last time I stood in my driveway and gazed at the stars. I did not get the laptop charger from
my car; instead, I turned around and went back inside. I shut my laptop and watched the rest of the movie. My twin sister loves Winnie the Pooh. So much so that my parents got her a stuffed animal version of him for Christmas. While I thought he was adorable and a token of my childhood, I did not really understand her obsession. However, it was clear to me after watching the movie. Winnie the Pooh certainly had it figured out. He believed that the simple things in life were the most important: love, friendship, and having fun.
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I thought about asking my mom right then what the three most important things were to her, but I decided not to. I just wanted to be in the moment. I didn鈥檛 want to be doing homework. It was a beautiful thing to just sit there and be present with my mom and sister.
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I did ask her, though, a couple of weeks later. Her response was simple. 听All she said was family, health, and happiness. When she told me this, I imagined Winnie the Pooh smiling. I think he would be proud of that answer.
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I was not surprised by my mom鈥檚 reply. It suited her perfectly. I wonder if we relearn what is most important when we grow older鈥攖hat the pressure to be successful subsides. Could it be that valuing family, health, and happiness is what ends up saving the world?
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Amanda Schwaben is a graduating senior from Kent State University with a major in Applied Conflict Management. Amanda also has minors in Psychology and Interpersonal Communication. She hopes to further her education and focus on how museums not only preserve history but also promote peace.
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Powerful Voice Winner
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Antonia Mills
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Rachel Carson High School, Brooklyn, N.Y.听
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Decoding The Butterfly
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For a caterpillar to become a butterfly, it must first digest itself. The caterpillar, overwhelmed by accumulating tissue, splits its skin open to form its protective shell, the chrysalis, and later becomes the pretty butterfly we all know and love. There are approximately 20,000 species of butterflies, and just as every species is different, so is the life of every butterfly. No matter how long and hard a caterpillar has strived to become the colorful and vibrant butterfly that we marvel at on a warm spring day, it does not live a long life. A butterfly can live for a year, six months, two weeks, and even as little as twenty-four hours.
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I have often wondered if butterflies live long enough to be blissful of blue skies. Do they take time to feast upon the sweet nectar they crave,听midst their hustling life of pollinating pretty flowers? Do they ever take a lull in their itineraries, or are they always rushing towards completing their four-stage metamorphosis? Has anyone asked the butterfly, 鈥淲ho are you?鈥澨齣nstead of 鈥淲hat are you鈥�? Or, How did you get here, on my windowsill? 听How did you become 鈥榶ou鈥�?
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Humans are similar to butterflies. As a caterpillar
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Suzanna Ruby/Getty Images
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becomes a butterfly, a baby becomes an elder. As a butterfly soars through summer skies, an elder watches summer skies turn into cold winter nights and back toward summer skies yet again. 听And as a butterfly flits slowly by the porch light, a passerby makes assumptions about the wrinkled, slow-moving elder, who is sturdier than he appears. These creatures are not seen for who they are鈥攚ho they were鈥攂ecause people have 鈥渂etter things to do鈥� or they are too busy to ask, 鈥淗ow are you鈥�?
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Our world can be a lonely place. Pressured by expectations, haunted by dreams, overpowered by weakness, and drowned out by lofty goals, we tend to forget ourselves鈥攁nd others. Rather than hang onto the strands of our diminishing sanity, we might benefit from listening to our elders. Many elders have experienced setbacks in their young lives. Overcoming hardship and surviving to old age is wisdom that they carry. 听We can learn from them鈥攁nd can even make their day by taking the time to hear their stories. 听
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Nancy Hill, who wrote the YES! Magazine article 鈥淭hree Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,鈥� was right: 鈥淲e live among such remarkable people, yet few know their stories.鈥� I know a lot about my grandmother鈥檚 life, and it isn鈥檛 as serene as my own. My grandmother, Liza, who cooks every day, bakes bread on holidays for our neighbors, brings gifts to her doctor out of the kindness of her heart, and makes conversation with neighbors even though she is isn鈥檛 fluent in English鈥擱ussian is her first language鈥攈as struggled all her life. Her mother, Anna, a single parent, had tuberculosis, and even though she had an inviolable spirit, she was too frail to care for four children. She passed away when my grandmother was sixteen, so my grandmother and her siblings spent most of their childhood in an orphanage. My grandmother got married at nineteen to my grandfather, Pinhas. He was a man who loved her more than he loved himself and was a godsend to every person he met. Liza was鈥攁nd still is鈥攁lways quick to do what was best for others, even if that person treated her poorly. My grandmother has lived with physical pain all her life, yet she pushed herself to climb heights that she wasn鈥檛 ready for. Against all odds, she has lived to tell her story to people who are willing to listen. And I always am.
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I asked my grandmother, 鈥淲hat are three things most important to you?鈥� Her answer was one that I already expected: One, for everyone to live long healthy lives. Two, for you to graduate from college. Three, for you to always remember that I love you.
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What may be basic to you means the world to my grandmother. She just wants what she never had the chance to experience: a healthy life, an education, and the chance to express love to the people she values. The three things that matter most to her may be so simple and ordinary to outsiders, but to her, it is so much more. And who could take that away?
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Antonia Mills was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York and attends Rachel Carson High School. 听Antonia enjoys creative activities, including writing, painting, reading, and baking. She hopes to pursue culinary arts professionally in the future. One of her favorite quotes is, 鈥淲hen you start seeing your worth, you鈥檒l find it harder to stay around people who don鈥檛.鈥� -Emily S.P.听
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听Powerful Voice Winner
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听听Isaac Ziemba
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Odyssey Multiage Program, Bainbridge Island, Wash.听
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This Former State Trooper Has His Priorities Straight: Family, Climate Change, and Integrity
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I have a personal connection to people who served in the military and first responders. My uncle is a first responder on the island I live on, and my dad retired from the Navy. That was what made a man named Glen Tyrell, a state trooper for 25 years, 2 months and 9 days, my first choice to interview about what three things matter in life. In the YES! Magazine article 鈥淭he Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,鈥� I learned that old and young people have a great deal in common. I know that鈥檚 true because Glen and I care about a lot of the same things.
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For Glen, family is at the top of his list of important things. 鈥淢y wife was, and is, always there for me. My daughters mean the world to me, too, but Penny is my partner,鈥� Glen said. I can understand why Glen鈥檚 wife is so important to him. She鈥檚 family. Family will always be there for you.
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Glen loves his family, and so do I with all my heart. My dad especially means the world to me. He is my top supporter and tells me that if I need help, just 鈥渟ay the word.鈥� When we are fishing or crabbing, sometimes I
think, what if these times were erased from my memory? I wouldn鈥檛 be able to describe the horrible feeling that would rush through my mind, and I鈥檓 sure that Glen would feel the same about his wife.
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My uncle once told me that the world is always going to change over time. It鈥檚 what the world has turned out to be that worries me. Both Glen and I are extremely concerned about climate change and the effect that rising temperatures have on animals and their habitats. We鈥檙e driving them to extinction. Some people might say, 鈥淪o what? Animals don鈥檛 pay taxes or do any of the things we do.鈥� What we are doing to them is like the Black Death times 100.
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Glen is also frustrated by how much plastic we use and where it ends up. He would be shocked that an explorer recently dived to the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean鈥攕even miles!鈥� and discovered a plastic bag and candy wrappers. Glen told me that, unfortunately, his generation did the damage and my generation is here to fix it. We need to take better care of Earth because if we don鈥檛, we, as a species, will have failed.
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Both Glen and I care deeply for our families and the earth, but for our third important value, I chose education and Glen chose integrity. My education is super important to me because without it, I would be a blank slate. I wouldn鈥檛 know how to figure out problems. I wouldn鈥檛 be able to tell right from wrong. I wouldn鈥檛 understand the Bill of Rights. I would be stuck. Everyone should be able to go to school, no matter where they鈥檙e from or who they are. 听It makes me angry and sad to think that some people, especially girls, get shot because they are trying to go to school. I understand how lucky I am.
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Integrity is sacred to Glen鈥擨 could tell by the serious tone of Glen鈥檚 voice when he told me that integrity was the code he lived by as a former state trooper. He knew that he had the power to change a person鈥檚 life, and he was committed to not abusing that power. 听When Glen put someone under arrest鈥攁nd my uncle says the same鈥攈is judgment and integrity were paramount. 鈥淓ither you鈥檙e right or you鈥檙e wrong.鈥� You can鈥檛 judge a person by what you think, you can only judge a person from what you know.鈥�
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I learned many things about Glen and what鈥檚 important in life, but there is one thing that stands out鈥攕omething Glen always does and does well. Glen helps people. He did it as a state trooper, and he does it in our school, where he works on construction projects. Glen told me that he believes that our most powerful tools are writing and listening to others. I think those tools are important, too, but I also believe there are other tools to help solve many of our problems and create a better future: to be compassionate, to create caring relationships, and to help others. Just like Glen Tyrell does each and every day.
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Isaac Ziemba is in seventh grade at the Odyssey Multiage Program on a small island called Bainbridge near Seattle, Washington. Isaac鈥檚 favorite subject in school is history because he has always been interested in how the past affects the future. In his spare time, you can find Isaac hunting for crab with his Dad, looking for artifacts around his house with his metal detector, and having fun with his younger cousin, Conner. 听听听听
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Powerful Voice Winner
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Lily Hersch
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听The Crest Academy, Salida, Colo.
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The Phone Call
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Dear Grandpa,
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In my short span of life鈥�12 years so far鈥攜ou鈥檝e taught me a lot of important life lessons that I鈥檒l always have with me. Some of the values I talk about in this writing I鈥檝e learned from you.
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Dedicated to my Gramps.
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In the YES! Magazine article听鈥淭hree Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,鈥� author and photographer Nancy Hill asked people to name the three things that mattered most to them. After reading the essay prompt for the article, I immediately knew who I wanted to interview: my grandpa Gil.听 听 听听
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My grandpa was born on January 25, 1942. He lived in a minuscule tenement in The Bronx with his mother,
father, and brother. His father wasn鈥檛 around much, and, when he was, he was reticent and would snap occasionally, revealing his constrained mental pain. My grandpa says this happened because my great grandfather did not have a father figure in his life. His mother was a classy, sharp lady who was the head secretary at a local police district station. My grandpa and his brother Larry did not care for each other. Gramps said he was very close to his mother, and Larry wasn鈥檛. Perhaps Larry was envious for what he didn鈥檛 have.
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Decades after little to no communication with his brother, my grandpa decided to spontaneously visit him in Florida, where he resided with his wife. Larry was taken aback at the sudden reappearance of his brother and told him to leave. Since then, the two brothers have not been in contact. My grandpa doesn鈥檛 even know if Larry is alive.听 听 听 听 听
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My grandpa is now a retired lawyer, married to my wonderful grandma, and living in a pretty house with an ugly dog named BoBo.
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So, what鈥檚 important to you, Gramps?
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He paused a second, then replied, 鈥淔amily, kindness, and empathy.鈥�
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Why so?
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鈥淔amily, because it鈥檚 my family. It鈥檚 important to stay connected with your family. My brother, father, and I never connected in the way I wished, and sometimes I contemplated what could鈥檝e happened. 听But you can鈥檛 change the past. So, that鈥檚 why family鈥檚 important to me.鈥�
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Family will always be on my 鈥淭op Three Most Important Things鈥� list, too. I can鈥檛 imagine not having my older brother, Zeke, or my grandma in my life. I wonder how other kids feel about their families? How do kids trapped and separated from their families at the U.S.-Mexico border feel? 听What about orphans? Too many questions, too few answers.
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鈥淜indness, because growing up and not seeing a lot of kindness made me realize how important it is to have that in the world. Kindness makes the world go round.鈥�
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What is kindness? Helping my brother, Eli, who has Down syndrome, get ready in the morning? Telling people what they need to hear, rather than what they want to hear? Maybe, for now, I鈥檒l put wisdom, not kindness, on my list.
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鈥淓mpathy, because of all the killings and shootings [in this country.] We also need to care for people鈥攑eople who are not living in as good circumstances as I have. Donald Trump and other people I鈥檝e met have no empathy. Empathy is very important.鈥�
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Empathy is something I鈥檝e felt my whole life. It鈥檒l always be important to me like it is important to my grandpa. My grandpa shows his empathy when he works with disabled children. Once he took a disabled child to a Christina Aguilera concert because that child was too young to go by himself. The moments I feel the most empathy are when Eli gets those looks from people. Seeing Eli wonder why people stare at him like he鈥檚 a freak makes me sad, and annoyed that they have the audacity to stare.
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After this 2 minute and 36-second phone call, my grandpa has helped me define what鈥檚 most important to me at this time in my life: family, wisdom, and empathy. Although these things are important now, I realize they can change and most likely will.
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When I鈥檓 an old woman, I envision myself scrambling through a stack of storage boxes and finding this paper. Perhaps after reading words from my 12-year-old self, I’ll ask myself 鈥淲hat鈥檚 important to me?鈥�
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Lily Hersch is a sixth-grader at Crest Academy in Salida, Colorado. Lily is an avid indoorsman, finding joy in competitive spelling, art, and of course, writing. She does not like Swiss cheese.
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听鈥淭ell It Like It Is鈥� Interview Winner
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Jonas Buckner
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KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory, Gaston, N.C.
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Lessons My Nana Taught Me
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I walked into the house. In the other room, I heard my cousin screaming at his game. There were a lot of Pioneer Woman dishes everywhere. The room had the television on max volume. The fan in the other room was on. I didn鈥檛 know it yet, but I was about to learn something powerful.
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I was in my Nana鈥檚 house, and when I walked in, she said, 鈥淗ey Monkey Butt.鈥�
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I said, 鈥淗ey Nana.鈥�
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Before the interview, I was talking to her about what I was gonna interview her on. Also, I had asked her why I might have wanted to interview her, and she responded with, 鈥淏ecause you love me, and I love you too.鈥�
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Now, it was time to start the interview. The first
question I asked was the main and most important question ever: 鈥淲hat three things matter most to you and you only?鈥�
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She thought of it very thoughtfully and responded with, 鈥淢y grandchildren, my children, and my health.鈥�
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Then, I said, 鈥淥K, can you please tell me more about your health?鈥�
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She responded with, 鈥淢y health is bad right now. I have heart problems, blood sugar, and that鈥檚 about it.鈥� When she said it, she looked at me and smiled because she loved me and was happy I chose her to interview.
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I replied with, 鈥淜 um, why is it important to you?鈥�
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She smiled and said, 鈥淲hy is it…Why is my health important? Well, because I want to live a long time and see my grandchildren grow up.鈥�
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I was scared when she said that, but she still smiled. I was so happy, and then I said, 鈥淗as your health always been important to you.鈥�
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She responded with 鈥淣ah.鈥�
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Then, I asked, 鈥淒o you happen to have a story to help me understand your reasoning?鈥�
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She said, 鈥淣o, not really.鈥�
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Now we were getting into the next set of questions. I said, 鈥淩emember how you said that your grandchildren matter to you? Can you please tell me why they matter to you?鈥�
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Then, she responded with, 鈥淪o I can spend time with them, play with them, and everything.鈥�
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Next, I asked the same question I did before: 鈥淗ave you always loved your grandchildren?鈥澨�
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She responded with, 鈥淵es, they have always been important to me.鈥�
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Then, the next two questions I asked she had no response to at all. She was very happy until I asked, 鈥淲hy do your children matter most to you?鈥�
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She had a frown on and responded, 鈥淢y daughter Tammy died a long time ago.鈥�
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Then, at this point, the other questions were answered the same as the other ones. When I left to go home I was thinking about how her answers were similar to mine. She said health, and I care about my health a lot, and I didn鈥檛 say, but I wanted to. She also didn鈥檛 have answers for the last two questions on each thing, and I was like that too.
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The lesson I learned was that no matter what, always keep pushing because even though my aunt or my Nana鈥檚 daughter died, she kept on pushing and loving everyone. I also learned that everything should matter to us. Once again, I chose to interview my Nana because she matters to me, and I know when she was younger she had a lot of things happen to her, so I wanted to know what she would say. The point I鈥檓 trying to make is that be grateful for what you have and what you have done in life.
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Jonas Buckner is a sixth-grader at KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory in Gaston, North Carolina. Jonas鈥� favorite activities are drawing, writing, math, piano, and playing AltSpace VR. He found his passion for writing in fourth grade when he wrote a quick autobiography. Jonas hopes to become a horror writer someday.
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From The Author: Responses to Student Winners
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Dear Emily, Isaac, Antonia, Rory, Praethong, Amanda, Lily, and Jonas,
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Your thought-provoking essays sent my head spinning. The more I read, the more impressed I was with the depth of thought, beauty of expression, and originality. It left me wondering just how to capture all of my reactions in a single letter. After multiple false starts, I鈥檝e landed on this: I will stick to the theme of three most important things.
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The three things I found most inspirational about your essays:
You asked.
You listened.
You connected.
We live in troubled times. Tensions mount between countries, cultures, genders, religious beliefs, and generations. If we fail to find a way to understand each other, to see similarities between us, the future will be fraught with increased hostility.
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You all took critical steps toward connecting with someone who might not value the same things you do by asking a person who is generations older than you what matters to them. Then, you listened to their answers. You saw connections between what is important to them and what is important to you. Many of you noted similarities, others wondered if your own list of the three most important things would change as you go through life. You all saw the validity of the responses you received and looked for reasons why your interviewees have come to value what they have.
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It is through these things鈥攁sking, listening, and connecting鈥攖hat we can begin to bridge the differences in experiences and beliefs that are currently dividing us.
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Individual observations
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Each one of you made observations that all of us, regardless of age or experience, would do well to keep in mind. I chose one quote from each person and trust those reading your essays will discover more valuable insights.
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Rory:
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鈥淥ur priorities may seem different, but they come back to basic human needs. We all desire a purpose, strive to be happy, and work to make a positive impact.鈥澨�
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Isaac:
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鈥淵ou can鈥檛 judge a person by what you think, you can only judge a person by what you know.鈥�
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Emily (referencing your interviewee, who is battling cancer):
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鈥淢aster Chief Petty Officer James has shown me how to appreciate what I have around me.鈥�
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Lily (quoting your grandfather):
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鈥淜indness makes the world go round.鈥�
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Jonas:
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鈥淓verything should matter to us.鈥�
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Praethong (quoting your interviewee, Sandra, on the importance of family):
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鈥淚t鈥檚 important to always maintain that connection you have with each other, your family, not just next-door neighbors you talk to once a month.鈥�
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Amanda:
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鈥淚 wonder if maybe we relearn what is most important when we grow older. That the pressure to be successful subsides and that valuing family, health, and happiness is what ends up saving the world.鈥�
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Antonia:
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鈥淟isten to what others have to say. Listen to the people who have already experienced hardship. You will learn from them and you can even make their day by giving them a chance to voice their thoughts.鈥�
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I end this letter to you with the hope that you never stop asking others what is most important to them and that you to continue to take time to reflect on what matters most to you鈥nd why. May you never stop asking, listening, and connecting with others, especially those who may seem to be unlike you. Keep writing, and keep sharing your thoughts and observations with others, for your ideas are awe-inspiring.
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I also want to thank the more than 1,000 students who submitted essays. Together, by sharing what鈥檚 important to us with others, especially those who may believe or act differently, we can fill the world with joy, peace, beauty, and love.
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Sincerely,
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Nancy Hill
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Literary Gems
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We received many outstanding essays for the Winter 2019 Student Writing Competition. Though not every participant can win the contest, we鈥檇 like to share some excerpts that caught our eye:
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Whether it is a painting on a milky canvas with watercolors or pasting photos onto a scrapbook with her granddaughters, it is always a piece of artwork to her. She values the things in life that keep her in the moment, while still exploring things she may not have initially thought would bring her joy.
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鈥擮ndine Grant-Krasno, Immaculate Heart Middle School, Los Angeles, Calif.
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鈥淕anas鈥濃�� It means 鈥渄esire鈥� in Spanish. My听ganas听is fueled by my family鈥檚 belief in me. I cannot and will not fail them.听
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鈥擜dan Rios, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.
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I hope when I grow up I can have the love for my kids like my grandma has for her kids. She makes being a mother even more of a beautiful thing than it already is.
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鈥擜shley Shaw, Columbus City Prep School for Girls, Grove City, Ohio
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You become a collage of little pieces of your friends and family. They also encourage you to be the best you can be. They lift you up onto the seat of your bike, they give you the first push, and they don鈥檛 hesitate to remind you that everything will be alright when you fall off and scrape your knee.
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鈥�Cecilia Stanton, Bellafonte Area Middle School, Bellafonte, Pa.
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Without good friends, I wouldn鈥檛 know what I would do to endure the brutal machine of public education.
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鈥擪enneth Jenkins, Garrison Middle School, Walla Walla, Wash.
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My dog, as ridiculous as it may seem, is a beautiful example of what we all should aspire to be. We should live in the moment, not stress, and make it our goal to lift someone鈥檚 spirits, even just a little.
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鈥擪ate Garland, Immaculate Heart Middle School, Los Angeles, Calif.听
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I strongly hope that every child can spare more time to accompany their elderly parents when they are struggling, and moving forward, and give them more care and patience. so as to truly achieve the goal of 鈥測ou accompany me to grow up, and I will accompany you to grow old.鈥�
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鈥擳aiyi Li, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.
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I have three cats, and they are my brothers and sisters. We share a special bond that I think would not be possible if they were human. Since they do not speak English, we have to find other ways to connect, and I think that those other ways can be more powerful than language.
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鈥擬aya Dombroskie, Delta Program Middle School,听Boulsburg, Pa.
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We are made to love and be loved. To have joy and be relational. As a member of the loneliest generation in possibly all of history, I feel keenly aware of the need for relationships and authentic connection. That is why I decided to talk to my grandmother.
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鈥擫uke Steinkamp, Kent State University, Kent, Ohio
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After interviewing my grandma and writing my paper, I realized that as we grow older, the things that are important to us don鈥檛 change, what changes is why those things are important to us.
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鈥擡mily Giffer, Our Lady Star of the Sea, Grosse Pointe Woods, Mich.
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The media works to marginalize elders, often isolating them and their stories, and the wealth of knowledge that comes with their additional years of lived experiences. It also undermines the depth of children鈥檚 curiosity and capacity to learn and understand. When the worlds of elders and children collide, a classroom opens.
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鈥擟ristina Reitano, City College of San Francisco, San Francisco, Calif.
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My values, although similar to my dad, only looked the same in the sense that a shadow is similar to the object it was cast on.
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鈥擳imofey Lisenskiy,听Santa Monica High School, Santa Monica, Calif.
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I can release my anger through writing without having to take it out on someone. I can escape and be a different person; it feels good not to be myself for a while. I can make up my own characters, so I can be someone different every day, and I think that鈥檚 pretty cool.
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鈥擩asua Carillo, Wellness, Business, and Sports School, Woodburn, Ore.听
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Notice how all the important things in his life are people: the people who he loves and who love him back. This is because 鈥減eople are more important than things like money or possessions, and families are treasures,鈥� says grandpa Pat. And I couldn鈥檛 agree more.
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鈥擝rody Hartley, Garrison Middle School, Walla Walla, Wash. 听
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Curiosity for other people鈥檚 stories could be what is needed to save the world.
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鈥擭oah Smith, Kent State University, Kent, Ohio
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Peace to me is a calm lake without a ripple in sight. It鈥檚 a starry night with a gentle breeze that pillows upon your face. It鈥檚 the absence of arguments, fighting, or war. It鈥檚 when egos stop working against each other and finally begin working with each other. Peace is free from fear, anxiety, and depression. To me, peace is an important ingredient in the recipe of life.
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鈥擩P Bogan, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.
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From A Teacher
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Charles Sanderson
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Wellness, Business and Sports School, Woodburn, Ore.听
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The Birthday Gift
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I鈥檝e known Jodelle for years, watching her grow from a quiet and timid twelve-year-old to a young woman who just returned from India, where she played Kabaddi, a kind of rugby meets Red Rover.
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One of my core beliefs as an educator is to show up for the things that matter to kids, so I go to their games, watch their plays, and eat the strawberry jam they make for the county fair. On this occasion, I met Jodelle at a robotics competition to watch her little sister Abby compete. Think Nerd Paradise: more hats made from traffic cones than Golden State Warrior ball caps, more unicorn capes than Nike swooshes, more fanny packs with Legos than clutches with eyeliner.
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We started chatting as the crowd chanted and waved six-foot flags for teams like Mystic Biscuits, Shrek, and everyone鈥檚 nemesis The Mean Machine. Apparently, when it鈥檚 time for lunch at a robotics competition, they don鈥檛 mess around. The once-packed gym was left to Jodelle and me, and we kept talking and talking. I eventually asked her about the three things that matter to her most.
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She told me about her mom, her sister, and her addiction鈥攖o horses. I鈥檝e read enough of her听writing to know that horses were her drug of choice and her mom and sister were her support network.
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I learned about her desire to become a teacher and how hours at the barn with her horse, Heart, recharge her when she鈥檚 exhausted. At one point, our rambling conversation turned to a topic I鈥檝e known far too well鈥攈er father.
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Later that evening, I received an email from Jodelle, and she had a lot to say. One line really struck me: 鈥淚n so many movies, I have seen a dad wanting to protect his daughter from the world, but I’ve only understood the scene cognitively. Yesterday, I felt it.鈥�
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Long ago, I decided that I would never be a dad. I had seen movies with fathers and daughters, and for me, those movies might as well have been听Star Wars,听ET, or听Alien鈥攚orlds filled with creatures I鈥檇 never know. However, over the years, I鈥檝e attended Jodelle鈥檚 parent-teacher conferences, gone to her graduation, and driven hours to watch her ride Heart at horse shows. Simply, I showed up. I listened. I supported.
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Jodelle shared a series of dad poems, as well.听I had read the first two poems in their original form when Jodelle was my student. The revised versions revealed new graphic details of her past.听The third poem, however, was something entirely different.
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She called the poems my early birthday present. When I read the lines 鈥淵ou are my father figure/Who I look up to/Without being looked down on,鈥� I froze for an instant and had to reread the lines. After fifty years of consciously deciding not to be a dad, I was seen as one鈥攁nd it felt incredible. Jodelle鈥檚 poem and recognition were two of the best presents I鈥檝e ever received.
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I 听know that I was the language arts teacher that Jodelle needed at the time, but her poem revealed things I never knew I taught her: 鈥淢y father figure/ Who taught me/ That listening is for observing the world/ That listening is for learning/Not obeying/Writing is for connecting/Healing with others.鈥�
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Teaching is often a thankless job, one that frequently brings more stress and anxiety than joy and hope. Stress erodes my patience. Anxiety curtails my ability to enter each interaction with every student with the grace they deserve. However, my time with Jodelle reminds me of the importance of leaning in and listening.
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In the article 鈥淭hree Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age鈥� by Nancy Hill, she illuminates how we 鈥渓ive among such remarkable people, yet few know their stories.鈥� For the last twenty years, I鈥檝e had the privilege to work with countless of these 鈥渞emarkable people,鈥� and I鈥檝e done my best to listen, and, in so doing, I hope my students will realize what I鈥檝e known for a long time; their voices matter and deserve to be heard, but the voices of their tias and abuelitos and babushkas are equally important. When we take the time to listen, I believe we do more than affirm the humanity of others; we affirm our own as well.
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Charles Sanderson has grounded his nineteen-year teaching career in a philosophy he describes as 鈥淢irror, Window, Bridge.鈥� Charles seeks to ensure all students see themselves, see others, and begin to learn the skills to build bridges of empathy, affinity, and understanding between communities and cultures that may seem vastly different. He proudly teaches at the Wellness, Business and Sports School in Woodburn, Oregon, a school and community that brings him joy and hope on a daily basis.
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From听The Author: Response to Charles Sanderson
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Dear Charles Sanderson,
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Thank you for submitting an essay of your own in addition to encouraging your students to participate in YES! Magazine鈥檚 essay contest.
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Your essay focused not on what is important to you, but rather on what is important to one of your students. You took what mattered to her to heart, acting upon it by going beyond the school day and creating a connection that has helped fill a huge gap in her life. Your efforts will affect her far beyond her years in school. It is clear that your involvement with this student is far from the only time you have gone beyond the classroom, and while you are not seeking personal acknowledgment, I cannot help but applaud you.
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In an ideal world, every teacher, every adult, would show the same interest in our children and adolescents that you do. By taking the time to listen to what is important to our youth, we can help them grow into compassionate, caring adults, capable of making our world a better place.
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Your concerted efforts to guide our youth to success not only as students but also as human beings is commendable. May others be inspired by your insights, concerns, and actions. You define excellence in teaching.
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Sincerely,
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Nancy Hill
